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MY AFFAIR WITH PASTOR BIODUN FATOYINBO OF COZA..

Bekezed's Blog

My heart bleeds and I’ve taken ages of silence to ponder on a lot of things, things that are but seem not…
I listened to a snippet of the ongoing ‘subsidy’ probe and I’m over myself!
I ask how can and I realise that that question took a long time coming, I mean faced with stark wickedness, avarice and greed, that is a no question question.
I’m passionate about a lot of things and it gets me really protective, I would stand alone, regardless for what I believe in because I simply believe in it
Judging from the recent pandora’s box that’s been unlocked, I wonder were it all went wrong! How it got this twisted this fast and noone bothered to raise an eye brow?! Those that noticed saw a booming business opportunity and took full advantage of it and the saddest part is the total lack of remorse!!

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things seem not

My heart bleeds and I’ve taken ages of silence to ponder on a lot of things, things that are but seem not…
I listened to a snippet of the ongoing ‘subsidy’ probe and I’m over myself!
I ask how can and I realise that that question took a long time coming, I mean faced with stark wickedness, avarice and greed, that is a no question question.
I’m passionate about a lot of things and it gets me really protective, I would stand alone, regardless for what I believe in because I simply believe in it
Judging from the recent pandora’s box that’s been unlocked, I wonder were it all went wrong! How it got this twisted this fast and noone bothered to raise an eye brow?! Those that noticed saw a booming business opportunity and took full advantage of it and the saddest part is the total lack of remorse!!
Is it that my parents’ generation was so comfortable or delighted with the shift from raw solar energy to electricity that they decided to over look a lot of things or the sun and the long distance trekking did so much damage that they want to be content with what it seems?
What happened to ‘nothing is at it seems’ or all those brilliant clichés they filled our minds with? That even discussing the present day happenings at home is as telling your dad the sordid details of how his friend raped you! Very uncomfortable to say the least really and the sad part is the mediocre resigned approach! Am I more Nigerian than they? Or I’m really from Ghana or dropped from Uranus (that’s a possibility though).
Is there any future really? Or a tomorrow? Enahoro was minister before he was 35, show me any present minister who is, Gowon, IBB, even OBJ that had the privilege of being president twice after a considerable amount of time too. I wasn’t even born when he was president the first time and I just had mine when he became the second time so what exactly went wrong?
How did we start loosing grip of reality? Is it that there was a shift in wants or ambitions or expectations?
These days, we are inundated with unclout thieves and liars who are not only inept but greedy and mean that call themselves politicians!
I’ve insisted that politicians are the cancer that have eaten deep.
All spheres of government have been infected and the sad part is the cancer is malign!
My generation says no! Not again will we allow ourselves be taken for granted by a handful of witless sly questionables who think we are foolish…ibb said that much
My generation will ask questions and demand answers and change!
My generation will scratch the surface and decipher beyond what it seems
My generation will #takeNigeriaback #lightupNigeria demand accountability.
Never again will ‘big’ words mixed with ‘wise’ counsel sway our better judgement
Freedom is a virgin untamed land…
We are indignated enough to demand…
Outraged enough to move…
Bold enough to take a stand and stand by it!
We will conquer because nothing goes for nothing, good things never have come easily! If we do not #standup to #occupy we will be crushed and spat on.
Physical wars, as shown in history have had to be fought for freedom from oppression
This is a mental war, one we fight with our words, attitude and votes.
The choice is ours

9/11: A Simple Tribute

9/11: A Simple Tribute.

silence

Deathly quiet, the world is seemingly asleep but the mind and a few night specialists are up and about.
Silence, what’s it about? Is it really about just keeping our opinions/views to ourselves or a state of being?
You can be loquacious and silent.
I’m tagged as a noise maker/chatter box but I see myself as a very quiet person (indeed you’d say but its the shocking reality). I’ve a temper and almost an opinion for every situation…sometimes I wait to be asked, other times, the urge to ‘tafia’ is so overwhelming that I just spill without thinking and mentally kick myself after I’ve opened my trap! I mean, one is supposed to be sensible and think before one talks but it doesn’t always necessarily follow.
Is it because we forgot to ‘keep silent/quiet’ or the state of silence took a vacation at that moment? I have plenty categories of silence
1 the cold silence- when I’m really cross and cannot show my anger; this is reserved for elders and bosses
2 the ‘you’re not existing’ silence- reserved for contemporaries and ‘over-sabies’ who I do not consider deserving of my anger or thoughts. 3 the ‘you seriously don’t want to know’ silence- reserved for family and loved ones, ‘cos if I open my mouth, vile bile will spill and we don’t want family weeping over what was said in anger now, do we?
4 the ‘enjoy the moment you will not know what hit you when I strike back’ silence- this one is usually unplanned. It comes like Power and desserts you when its most needed
5 the ‘you should know better but I’m not saying a word’ silence, guys you recognise this very well, you do something and girl is cross but doesn’t want to seem the nag(especially when family is around) the silence speaks volumes
6 the ‘you’re so fried’ silence- reserved for children and siblings! They are so toast!
7 the inspirational silence..bliss! Sheer bliss. Then you do your life’s calculation and balancing
We all have our days and I enjoy my days best in silence. That’s what I actually enjoy in a relationship, not the urge to always say something but the ability to be silent and actually enjoy it(comfortable silence) makes it worthwhile.

intro

This is me….follow me on a wild journey….with its unending maze of labyrinthine twists…it’d be fun in the end I love life…mischief might be an everyday occurrence for me but in all…there are lessons learned hidden in every corner but you’d have to walk the mile to know. I’ve the weirdest set of aunts one can dream of. They have striking memories. I love to snack when everyone is asleep and everyone knows that. My aunt never agrees that stuff you see in the refrigerator is for the eating. So its a subtle battle of wills. I pick and hope she doesn’t notice and everything seems to be just fine till i decide to walk the whole mile and she remembers she has some cake or biscuit or something I’ve obviously eaten . and then she yells and warns and replaces and the cycle continues i love her terribly and though we’ve had our tiffs we’ve been able to hold onto what we share that is the filial bond we share and have conquered  astounding difficulties. ranks have been closed and  obvious differences and shortcomings overlooked because memories are created every second. fond or best forgotten but still memories. I’ve others who haven’t been able to understand me and substitute my weaknesses with my strengths but this particular Aunt sees right through me and defends me in the face of trouble t the death. loyalty…reciprocal so here i stand asking for a reciprocal loyalty. i of writing…you of reading and commenting and we embark on this trip at a languidly fast pace. it would be deep and light….fun and tearful but real thank you

pain has a zillion definitions but it all pales in the presence of the one you feel in places folks can’t touch. your soul…the rawness of the seething throb that only fades when you’re adequately distracted but comes again in all its glory when the object of your trauma re-surfaces.

we all at various points in our lives have been cut deeply and mortally wounded or so we think…at that moment when the world seems to have stopped and stared at your humiliation…your betrayal…seemed the next second would never come and that day/moment slowly burns itself into your retina  and senses when all you have to do to remember is just a scent…a gait….a word…a letter….a phrase

you think with time that they say heals wounds you will forget but no… the pain is still there…as if its just happening and all you can think of is unanswered questions…you re-live every minute to its occurrence. sometimes you wonder if there was something you could have done to change it. you refuse to accept it as history because it is still fresh and raw regardless the time its been buried. life seems to go n but it actually doesn’t.

i for one carry scars. deeply planted…carved in intricate designs….perfectly covered and each open as a fresh wound anytime its history is been coaxed….

some pains are products of simple mis communications that can be easily sorted and thence, closure. some the death f the offender or some mishap..others the birth of the truth which retribution or attempts at it help to heal the wounds but there would always be those that fire you up when you want to give up. they remind you of the path you have chosen to thread . they keep you wide awake on cold nights and fuel the flames of ambition…one of revenge(either good or bad) or of perfection,,,self attainment.  

in all…whatever pain you carry…that warms you up and burns with fervency, let’s remember our humanity. how we are capable of inflicting though sometimes unwittingly on innocent souls. remember how you felt at that point..let us give a shot at empathy for even though sometimes pain is a necessary state of being needed to ginger us up in some situations, it is a short time we have to impact either negatively or positively and our every action or inaction either starts or ends a vicious cycle